I am just angry but not broken. That is how a friend of mine who recently got out of the bad relationship with her husband of 14 years starts. She married her high school sweetheart, even before she graduated. We were all envy of her, you know, those kind of relationships in those college days where you see the two love birds together and everyone predicts that they will end up getting married. " I think the public expectations sealed our marriage fate. everyone was looking at us and it would be very shameful if we did not get married....." Uuuuhhhhhgggghhhhh! What? Is that the reason you got married? I asked her in disbelief!
She had problems as soon as they got married, She did not go along with her sisters in laws and mother in law, she conceived a year after they got married, while unemployed, the husband worked in another town, she got a job after six years and three children, the husband had a girlfriend, and was drinking heavily, and her mother in law died, and their dog escaped, and their baby cried sooo much at night and she could not pay her rent at one time, and her babies were in public school because she could not afford private school anymore and i could not pick up which one was normal and which one was her marital problem, and which one were financial problems. To make a story short, her husband had a mistress, and he moved to her house and come back when he lost his job and started abusing her and her children and stole her money and made her quit her job.
She is now raising her children alone with a salary which does not round up the month and leave in one of the crappy neighborhood and she is angry. "I am angry for the time i lost, and the opportunities i let pass me, and friends i lost and the life i leave now. I am angry because i did not know when to get out. It is definitely not now, it was supposed to be years ago.
I do everything by myself. I work 14 hours a day including travel time. I wish when i get home, somebody could rub my feet and prepare some tea or juice but instead i run into cooking, and doing homework and cleaning and prepare the children for the next day and making the beds and fetch water and go to one of those community meetings sometimes. At 10 PM i am still moving around and i know i cannot go to sleep until i have everything in order. I instituted case in Primary court against him for support for his children but i know it will take years before they ask him to pay 100,000 shillings per month as maintenance.
This is one woman i know and i am sure you know another one. You see them everyday, they are angry but not broken, They picked up the pieces of their lives, dust them off and hold their heads high, smiling knowing that there is always tomorrow where things will get better.
Salute to them all!
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