When you get very tired, and you know the day is not yet finished! -A story of an angry single mother!

I am just angry but not broken. That is how a friend of mine who recently got out of the bad relationship with her husband of 14 years  starts. She married her high school sweetheart, even before she graduated. We were all envy of her, you know, those kind of relationships in those college days where you see the two love birds together and everyone predicts that they will end up getting married. " I think the public expectations sealed our marriage fate. everyone was looking at us and it would be very shameful if we did not get married....." Uuuuhhhhhgggghhhhh! What? Is that the reason you got married? I asked her in disbelief!

She had problems as soon as they got married, She did not go along with her sisters in laws and mother in law, she conceived a year after they got married, while unemployed, the husband worked in another town, she got a job after six years and three children, the husband had a girlfriend, and was drinking heavily, and her mother in law died, and their dog escaped, and their baby cried sooo much at night and she could not pay her rent at one time, and her babies were in public school because she could not afford private school anymore and i could not pick up which one was normal and which one was her marital problem, and which one were financial problems. To make a story short, her husband had a mistress, and he moved to her house and come back when he lost his job and started abusing her and her children and stole her money and made her quit her job.

She is now raising her children alone with a salary which does not round up the month and leave in one of the crappy neighborhood and she is angry. "I am angry for the time i lost, and the opportunities i let  pass me, and friends i lost and the life i leave now. I am angry because i did not know when to get out. It is definitely not now, it was supposed to be years ago.

I do everything by myself. I work 14 hours a day including travel time. I wish when i get home, somebody could rub my feet and prepare some tea or juice but instead i run into cooking, and doing homework and cleaning and prepare the children for the next day and making the beds and fetch water and go to one of those community meetings sometimes. At 10 PM i am still moving around and i know i cannot go to sleep until i have everything in order. I instituted case in Primary court against him for support for his children but i know it will take years before they ask him to pay 100,000 shillings per month as maintenance.

This is one woman i know and i am sure you know another one. You see them everyday, they are angry but not broken, They picked up the pieces of their lives, dust them off and hold their heads high, smiling knowing that there is always tomorrow where things will get better.
Salute to them all!

Yeeeey! It is International Women's Day 2016

It is yet another time of the year where we celebrate women. Personally, i am a feminist. i believe in Women's rights. To me Women's Right is not a subject. It is a moral value i live with. It is my religion. my belief.

As we celebrate IWD this year, i was reflecting how we are drifting away from the originality of the day.  A day where we look back and celebrate women's struggle and cherish the fruit of everyday success. Unfortunately, we have kind of lost focus on this

While we are very sure to remember ourselves, with a little pampering and a good meal, i do not think this day is meant for that. This day is meant  for  looking  at our struggle, to remember the deeper meaning in  being women workers, and farmers, and stay at home mums, and doctors lawyers, teachers, food vendors, manufacturers, nurses, politicians, government officials, preachers etc etc. We have to find a clearer meaning on how these are  contributing to the world we have today, statistically and naratively and bring this into visibility.

We have to add voice into our work and how they are contributing to the economy today. We have to put a value in our giving birth so that  people stop call it "A woman's work" It is not just a woman's work but a central  pillar of human race.

I salute all women out there who have stayed strong and true to the cause. I salute all women who have gotten through the difficulties paused by traditional roles of women. Who have survived deaths and violence,  Who have gone through labor pain and C section  and yet stayed awake at night to feed their children. I salute every woman out there who had the courage to shake the patriarch system and bring the stupid ideologies down.

It is IWD, give women salute everywhere!